i think i have herpe
just one?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
