It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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