Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
