I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
