i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
