Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
