Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize