the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
