My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
