He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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