I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The ass gains better be worth it
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