I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
