the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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