hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
