Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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