i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
