So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
