i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
