i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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