i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize