just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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