New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
