Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
