You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
