I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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