i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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