Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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