dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
a search helicopter?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
