i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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