New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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