I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
