I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize