He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
