I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
