it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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