the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
