Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
