is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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