remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
