I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
where am i from again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
