You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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