I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
