Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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