I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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