What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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