there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
