At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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