We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
