you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
