no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
