he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
