just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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