So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's rum buckets o'clock
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
